Learn how to say No – First make your Yes conscious
If you want to learn to say No, you may have a Yes habit.
Your first step is to make your Yes a conscious choice. This will give you the platform to build competence in saying No.
Taking this simple first step means you can get it right, build your competence and confidence and then once you’ve got it you can take a next step from there.
Your Yes Habit
So you have a habit of saying Yes to taking on more and more – at work, at home, in your community, at your kid’s school and you’ve decided that you need to start saying No.
For some people, quitting the Yes habit might be that simple… like some people manage to quit smoking cold turkey after a 20-year habit…
But for most people it’s tougher than that… a habit develops over time and can become deeply ingrained… your whole body is saying Yes! even before your brain catches up…
How to Make your Yes Conscious
For a week simply practice pausing before you say Yes.
When someone asks you to do something: Stop, take a breath… and then say Yes.
What does this do? It makes the Yes conscious instead of an automatic response.
Pausing introduces choice.
After a week of practicing this daily you will find the pause becomes more natural and you can then take another step towards the No.
No might still be uncomfortable at this stage so your next step might be using negotiation – “I can’t do that for you right now but I could help you next week” or “I don’t have capacity for that today but I’d be happy to delegate it to Paul and review his work tomorrow – could that work for you?”
Before you move to the No remember – first start by making your Yes conscious. Take this simple first step and then build your competence from there.